Never A Dull Moment

Once again, visitation was a bust for my friends.

I got about 30 minutes in with Derrell and Rosie until the day was cancelled, due to a dummy. Seriously, dumb dummy dumb dumb. Like, if you're going to be shady, be shady already!

The campers who are doing the most are getting really comfortable. The girl who got caught up today had her visitor come in to the lobby, and drop a package right there in front of the admin office, with a case manager sitting in the window. No joke.

So, she witnesses the whole thing, calls the LT at the FCI, and holds the girl in the visiting room while investigating the package.

The Lieutenant told Derrell and Rosie that we did nothing wrong, but they had to go. They'll hold the camper in the visitation room- probably until tomorrow, when they can transport her to the SHU in Florence. I am hearing that there's a second girl involved, who was planning to run in and pick it up from the lobby while visitation was in session.

I'm no expert on drops, but I can think of a myriad of safer ways to do this. What a knucklehead. And the rest of us pay for it. As the LT told Derrell, "Unfortunately, this is just another consequence of being incarcerated."

I am grateful I was able to see Rosie for the short time we had, and that I had a nice day with Derrell yesterday. It just seems like whenever my girls make the trip, something goes wrong. Always out of our control.

It makes me feel like it's just too much on everybody else. The point of being in a camp, is that we are out custody. There is one officer for 300 women, and admin staff who we don't see unless we are called to see them in the office. So, unless there is a need for serious disciplinary or medical assistance, we manage ourselves. Again, what's the point?

There are more drugs and raunchy behavior here that most of us see outside of here. Another camper told me that she has worked so hard to be clean, and has gone through several programs before she came here. Then, to be exposed to more drugs and alcohol here that before, it had her stressed out with regular nightmares of using drugs. This isn't rehabilitation. It's housing. Separation from family and support. Separation from the ability to seek therapies and work toward our debts. The users have more access to drugs. And the government makes money while playing mind games. That's what it is.

I heard about another blasphemous show out there in which Debbie is crouched over, looking handicapped. Apparently her jealously and toxicity spews like venom; obvious to viewers. A blatant plea for sympathy for the ugly duckling/blacksheep of the family type shit. I guess the message was that I became a lethal seductress because I was dealt a less unattractive gene? Wild. Like the other shows, I haven't seen it, but it just goes to show what lengths people will go through to ensure separation from society. Not for nothing, I guess. She got her fifteen minutes.

I'll get through this and use the experience to persevere. There is some hope here for all of us- we just need to sift through the BS to get to it.